2020.10.06 00:18 500scnds Hidden camera mom and son sex
|How did you type all this?||I can touch type. It's an essential skill.|
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|Do you have some type of software that reads certain things out? I wasn’t trying to be rude so my apologies, just very curious/interested! Hats off to you.||Sure, I use a screenreader. It's a piece of software that uses synthesised speech to read back what's on the screen. And I navigate using the keyboard rather than a mouse.|
|Thank you for doing this AMA! Its really fascinating and I'm learning a lot! I noticed in some of your comments you said you enjoy cooking. In my own experience, cooking and baking are extremely visual activities (for example, like knowing when a pancake is ready to be flipped, or properly cleaning and preparing a chicken, or when ground beef has been cooked completely). I would imagine that you use taste, touch, and smell, to guide you through some aspects of cooking. But even then, the information you could possibly get is still limited. What do you specifically look for as indicators to help you cook? I'm also interested in what dishes you find the easiest to make and what dishes you find the most difficult.||All of that information you can get non-visually. You can tell ground bief is cooked by the texture when you touch it with a spoon. Other things by the smell. It's not more limited, it's just an alternative method.|
|I love experimenting with different things, I went through a phase of baking lots of bread. At the moment I'm into building complex salads and working on really healthy recipes. I cooked a meal for 60 people, that was pretty intense!|
|whose voice is reading my question to you?||A very synthesised American voice.|
|Does colour mean anything to you ?||Not really, it's an abstract concept.|
|Do you watch or should I say listen to porn?||Nah, it just doesn't do anything for me.|
|As someone who plays video games and watch shows to kill time when I’m bored, I never thought about what a blind person would do to kill time when they’re bored other than listening to music. What do you do to pass time?||Read, watch films and tv, mindlessly browse the internet. There are also audio games, and it's possible to play some regular games if you're blind, but I'm not really a gamer.|
|How has voice technology (like Siri or Google Assistant) changed the way you interact with things (if you use it at all)? If you have it: how has it made life better or worse? If you don't have it: why not?||It's convenient because I can set a timer when cooking hands free! But also, something like an echo dot is designed to be used without vision, so I'm not actually having to deal with an accessibility barrier. I get exactly the same functionality from it that a sighted person does, and that is an important consideration.|
|how has the covid-19 pandemic affected you, as a blind person specifically/differently?||Not so much now. At first my concern was in relation to grocery delivery services. I didn't want to go to the supermarket because many places were refusing to provide assistance, but also everyone was using delivery services, so slots weren't easily accessible for those of us who really needed them. It's calmed down quite a bit now though.|
|Another issue relates to accessible information. A lot of the stats are shown as images, with no explanation. Which means we're shut out from accessing what could be very crucial info.|
|Do you experience any visuals in your mind? For example, like when you dream?||I don't. I've never been able to see so this is impossible for me.|
|Based on your life so far and what you have learned from others what is your favorite color?||I don't have one. I usually say purple just because people demand an answer and it's easier to give them one.|
|Do you like puppies?||I do.|
|What is it like to move around. Is it hard and do you feel out a room as you walk through it?||It's not hard because I've always been blind so know how to navigate as a blind person. When outside I travel using a white cane, this is also true if I'm inside buildings like shops etc. But if I'm at my house or friends houses I just walk around and learn where things are.|
|What’s something people do/say that is ableist but not commonly acknowledged as such? How can sighted people be better allies to blind people?||"You do so well for a blind person," has to be one of the most rude things people can say. Because what they're saying is that actually, they don't expect blind people to be doing very well at all, so the fact that I'm a moderately functional adult who doesn't get enough sleep, drinks too much coffee and is constantly stressed is a very very good thing. When I'm actually very typical for someone in their mid 20's.|
|Just treat blind people like people, and support us with fighting for accessibility and equal rights. That really is the best way to be an ally.|
|As someone how may go blind I always wondered if there was a fear of “the dark” or does it fade a bit?||I'm not sure honestly. I've always been blind, so it's normal to me. I do know people who lost their vision who have really happy, secure lives.|
|Is sex more intense for you? And do you have sex with other blind people, if not how does it feel when you cant see the other person but he can see you naked?||It honestly depends who I'm having sex with. I don't really worry if they can see me and I can't. I've had good and bad experiences, with both blind nad sighted people.|
|Do you listen to old radio plays? I had a period of time prior to a cataract surgery where my photosensitivity was so intense I mostly lived in total darkness, and these were my favourite forms of free entertainment. I am old enough that I listened to them on radio, although most were rebroadcasts. Also, do you usually wear any kind of sunglasses or such? If so, for your own benefit, or to make people feel more comfortable?||I listened to a lot of plays in the early 2000s when I was a kid because only a fraction of books were published in braille. Audio books were expensive and also only a few books became audio. These days I listen to less of them because with things like Kindle I can read almost anything, but they were a wonderful and necessary part of my childhood that I am very thankful I was able to experience.|
|I have light perception so I wear sunglasses when it's really bright, but not for the comfort of others. I think if my eyes make people uncomfortable it's something they should address within themselves.|
|Is the halo effect a noticeable phenomenon for you as an arguably perfectly objective observer of sighted people? Have you ever been in a situation and just known that someone is physically attractive based on being inexplicably treated more favourably by others than could be reasonably expected? How do you feel about this in general?||I think so. I definitely noticed this in school. My perception is that people gravitate towards someone who is deemed to be physically attractive, but I don't know if that is true.|
|Have you ever fired a firearm or played with a sword?||I haven't. I considered going to a shooting range when I lived in the US but never did.|
|When browsing the web -- do ads really screw with your screen reader? Do you use an adblocker?||They do, and yes I do.|
|If you could tell the world one thing what would it be?||About blindness? Treat me like any other adult.|
|Not about blindness. Use your vote.|
|What's your favorite place to get a burrito?||I live in England where burritos are sadly lacking, but now I really want one.|
|Would you consider trying psychedelics and reporting back your experiences?||I've tried them before. Really weird, honestly. Mostly auditory but also some physical sensations.|
|Do you understand racism? Also what's your favorite song?||By understand, I think it's wrong, but I understand it as a concept. RAcism isn't really about being able to see colour, it's associating a race with a positive or negative set of attributes. Blind people are just as capable of being racist.|
|In terms of songs I don't really have a favourite, I've been listening to I and love and you by the Avett Brothers a lot recently.|
|I was always wondering about this one. There are days when I "overlisten" to music or sounds get pounded and louder until I can't stand it and I need to shut it out. I would go several days without music or wear noise cancelling headphones to get myself disconnected. It sometimes happens with my vision, where it's just too much information and my brain needs a break. So I'm wondering what's it like in your case, if you've ever experienced something like that? Where there's too much sensory information and you need to shut it out but you need it to get around? And another extremely random one. I work and architecture and was trying to figure out how someone would go about designing a house while blind. Besides textures, how would you try and build a house for yourself if you could?||That sounds like sensory processing disorder, which I have experienced aspects of yes.|
|I'm not sure, definitely lots of outside space and a big kitchen, but those are because of my love of being outside and also of cooking, more than blindness!|
|So this might sound weird, but my friends have a year old daughter who is blind. What kind of playing made you happiest as a kid?||Climbing, playing football, running about. Just normal kid stuff.|
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|So two questions: you mentioned that you travelled to a couple of countries. To us, travel is a very visual experience, what is it to you? How do you experience the travel experience itself?||Travelling to me is experiencing all aspects of the culture. It doesn't have to be visual. You can meet people, go to a city, go to a park, go hiking. These are all part of it.|
|We see your inability to see as an impairment or disability out of our ignorance, what do you think seeing people lack? What is our disability?||I think we have to be careful and not view something like a lack of understanding as a disability. I am blind, and blindness is my impairment. But I'm disabled because the world around me isn't accessible.|
|ok 3rd one, out of the countries you visited, which one of them you felt a bit more challenged than the other ones?||In terms of the countries they all had positives and negatives. Colombia was definitely a new experience, but it was also my favourite place to live.|
|What is imagination for you?||That's difficult to answer. If you mean how do I imagine, through my other senses. But as to what it is, I'm not sure. It seems to be an essential part of who we are as humans.|
|What do you see in today's society that you dislike?||I'm not sure this is just a problem with today's society, but ignorance and denial regarding the reality of the world we live in.|
|My sons (age 10) are really good friends with a boy who has been blind since birth. My sons have gone to his house a few times and have had a lot of fun. I would like for him to come here, but it makes me nervous. I worry that he'll get bored or be uncomfortable. As a child, what were some of your favorite experiences with sighted friends and their family?||Being welcomed in to everyday activities. My best experiences were with people who didn't worry, who let me run around and play, who let me climb and mess about with my friends. But who also set boundaries, who told me to be quiet or to stop running, like they would any other child. Basically the best thing you can do is welcome him and treat him like any other kid.|
|Will you have children of your own even if you have a 50% chance of passing on your genetic mutation? My mother in law is blind and she passed retinoblastoma on to all 4 of her children even though each birth was a 50% chance. They all were able to retain vision though 2 had to have an eye enucleated. Later in those same 2 passed away from associated secondary cancers in the 20s and 30s bc they received radiation to stop the tumours (inherited is bilateral). I am pregnant with a baby girl who inherited the genetic mutation and at 36 weeks will deliver so they can monitor and treat the tumours. Being induced early allows the critical growth stage of 36 to 42 weeks gestation to be monitored and treated. Prognosis is good and it's considered 97% treatable but I cant help feeling that I am doing a disservice by continuing the horrible legacy of retinoblastoma. And also I wonder how she would feel knowing if she wants to naturally have children she will have a 50% chance of passing the mutation on to offspring.||I would. I will pass the LCA gene on to any child I have, but my partner would have to be a carrier for us to have a blind child. Even if my child is blind I'd know how to raise them. I could teach them to read, to travel, to do anything they wanted to. I understand it's more complex with something like RB, but I think you have to do whatever feels right for you.|
|Do you play any instruments? If so, which instrument(s)?||I used to play the clarinet but haven't in years. I was never very good at music.|
|If there was an option for surgery that granted you sight, would you consider it?||I wouldn't, it doesn't interest me.|
|What are some UI changes reddit could make to improve accessibility for the blind? What are some things other sites often do which make them difficult for you to read and navigate?||Reddit is honestly a bit of a clusterfuck. It's accessible enough, but sometimes the focus of my screenreader jumps around. There also aren't many headings used, which is the primary way screenreaders navigate online content, so it's a pain to find the section of the page that you want. In terms of other sites a lack of alt text is a huge problem. We convey so much information through images, but if it isn't tagged correctly a blind person misses all of it.|
|What would be the best way to interact with a blind person? Like let's say you went inside a new building and people there knew you were blind would you be offended if they offered to help you find your way? Or tell you how many steps there are or watch out for things that may be in your way? Would that come off as overbearing?||It's annoying when people constantly tell me, because it's actually distracting. If someone offers that's fine, so long as they listen when I say no.|
|Which genders are you attracted to? When did you realize you were attracted to them and what was it about them||Both, though men more than women. I'm not sure, I guess I was a pre-teen and I started to have crushes on people.|
|i watched a video of a blind woman with her seeing eye dog and a hidden camera try to find her way around a mall that she'd never been to before. it was so funny to watch the employees point as if she could see or the dog could understand what was going on. there was, eventually, one woman who walked her to the perfumes/jewelry and entrance so that her dog would understand and so that she knew the amount of steps that it should take. do you have these experiences often where people are just, unintentionally, entirely unhelpful?||All the time. You just get used to it. Also, we don't actually count steps, we may have good spacial awareness and can tell approximately how much distance we've travelled, but step counting is a bit of a myth.|
|[deleted]||I do. If she's in the United States I really recommend that she reaches out to the National Federation of the Blind to find out about their training centers. The Colorado Center for the Blind made a huge difference to my life.|
|Why did the moderators remove this? ||Because I can't hold up a sign with my username...because obviously I can't write. Unless they want it in braille?|
|Maybe this is question is better suited to those who raised you, but do you know if there was anything atypical about your language development? I read a case study about a blind toddler’s unusual syntax once and found it really interesting.||I'm very interested in this too. I had fairly advanced language development, which I know through speaking with my parents and reading school and medical reports. Many congenitally blind children do have atypical language development though.|
|What parenting tips would you suggest to someone who has a young child who is blind or losing sight?||Have high expectations, don't expect less of them because they are blind. Expect them to do chores around the house, to work hard in school and to be polite. They can and should do these things.|
|I occasionally see the same blind man on the sidewalk navigating the DC metro and city streets. I believe he lives around my work. Sometimes he looks completely lost. I have on a few occasions guided him to the correct train or set of stairs. He just says thank you and continues on. Is there anything else I could do to help him or be a good samaritan to other blind folks in the city?||Asking is honestly the best thing. Either the blind person will need assistance or they won't. It's worse to assume that someone does when they might not, so I feel that by asking you're already doing the right thing.|
|So I know I am very late to the AMA party here, but hopefully you still are able to answer this for me. I'm a police officer in the US in an area where we don't have a very large blind/deaf/etc community. What are some good things to know as a cop so that I can better interact with the blind? Especially, of course, victims who need to report crimes. But either witnesses who may have info or even perpetrators. I've read almost this entire thread and with some of your answers to other questions, I can only imagine how blind people may be treated by uninformed or wilfully ignorant officers.||This is such an important question, thank you for asking. Firstly, the biggest thing is to view them as credible. Obviously a blind person is capable of lying, but they aren't automatically less credible just because they can't give you a visual account of what has happened. This is a particularly pervasive problem in cases that involve sexual assault.|
|Also, if you're approaching a blind person in the street because there's a situation, it's good to identify yourself as an officer. I have no way of knowing if the person is a random stranger, who I might brush off, or a police officer unless they tell you. Some blind people will want to be given your badge, to see if you have one, or take your ID number. Try not to be upset or angry, it isn't that we don't believe you, just again that we can't visually verify what you're saying.|
|This is an interesting AMA. Thanks for doing this. My question, If it was possible through new technology to give you vision, let's say through an implant that records wavelengths of light and transmits the information to your brain allowing you to see in perfect 20/20 vision. (I am not familiar with what caused your blindness, so let's assume we are able to bypass it) It's a completely safe surgery, but the implant is permanent. Would you do it?||No, I wouldn't. My brain has adapted to my blindness, and I feel like getting vision would be really disruptive and uncomfortable.|
|As a parent it would cause me a lot of pain to think about my child being blind. Have you ever discussed how your parents felt with them?||Yes, if it does upset them, they don't show it which is so, so important. I would have hated growing up, knowing my parents wished I was someone else.|
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|Becoming a parent comes with a range of emotions they don't warn us about and we can't prevent. Your parents would never wish you to be someone else, they world just want take away anything that might cause you pain. It is good to hear you had the support and love you needed.||Absolutely, but you also owe it to your child to keep some of those feelings from them. It's really damaging to know that people around you would change a fundamental part of who you are. Absolutely a parent should seek support when they have these feelings, but it should never be made obvious to the child.|
|Are you religious? Has anyone prayed for you to see? If someone offered would you be open to it? If yes, do you think other blind people would?||I'm not, if people are going to pray, I'd rather they pray I actually have a happy and meaningful life. I have no interest in seeing, some blind people do and that's totally their right.|
|When you masturbate what do you mentally picture?||Depends. If I'm in a relationship at the time I'll often think about that person and things they've said or done.|
|Do you depend on someone else or did you figure out on how to do normal every day activities that people take for granted on your own?||I can do pretty much anything alone. I can cook, clean, do my laundry, travel to and from work etc. The only thing I can't do is drive, so I'll take busses and trains or use Uber sometimes.|
|This could have already been asked, there's so much knowledge we all want to glean from you. Have you ever thought about or done a race, running, biking, swimming, or anything where you have a guide? There's some great races where you can feel the wind on your face and the sound of the trees around you. I guess it doesn't have to be a race. Just how much have you been able to feel the wind and the trees. Thank you for answering all of our questions. My respect on one, putting yourself out there and answering personal questions, and also being a complete boss on your answers.||Sure, thanks for reading. I love more extreme sports, so I've been skydiving and paragliding for example. I'd love to do more things like that. I also really enjoy skiing and tandem cycling.|
|I hope I don't sound rude, but how do you (or blind people in general) know where to go especially in a big city? Is it difficult to find shops and run errands without getting lost? Bonus question: How do service dogs know where you want to go? Like if you wanted to go to a specific restaurant for example, how does a service dog aid in getting you there?||I know by exploring, by asking questions, by learning about the layout of the city. And service dogs receive instruction from the handler. The dog doesn't actually know where it's going, it is the handlers job to give it commands like find left, or find right.|
|What do you enjoy about traveling? For me it’s the scenery. But also foods a big one. I imagine being blind, food would be the main reason. Also has anyone tried using sign language to communicate with you? I honestly worry about that misunderstanding alot||Haha maybe they have but I just didn't see them. I have been asked if I know it though!|
|And the food, meeting people, visiting different places like museums and parks, the whole aspect of immersing yourself in another culture.|
|Is the experience of sight something you wish deeply you could do? Or does the fact that you’ve never experienced it make it seem very foreign and intimidating?||It definitely feels overwhelming to the point where I wouldn't take a cure if it was offered to me.|
|While living in the US, did you find it a relatively accessible country or no? Also, I started watching your YouTube videos, and they’re great! Super informational. Makes me want to sign up as a volunteer for Be My Eyes :)||Thank you, I'm so glad that you are enjoying them. If you have any video topic requests, feel free to leave a comment on one of my videos as I may not see it in this thread as it's so big.|
|It was fairly accessible, as with most places, the attitudes of others were the biggest barrier I faced. People not believing I could do something, rather than be actually not being able to do it.|
|Do you still have Isla the guide dog? If so, was she already trained? What signals do they give to let you know there is steps, a road?||I don't. She retired last year, but she's living a very happy life with some friends of mine. She was trained when I got her, they are trained to stop at roads and steps.|
|This rivets me. My mom went blind on and off through her life. Glaucoma and surgeries. She only sometimes had sight in one because she lost the other to cataracts. Anyway. I was her eyes. I knew how to help her, somehow. Have you ever had a person you let be your eyes?||To a point, sometimes I'll ask people for visual information. But I wouldn't want to create a relationship where it's expected, I think it can result in some uncomfortable power dynamics. I'd rather get that info from a paid service like Aira. This is just my personal preference.|
|How would you rate reddit's accessiblity?||Kind of a pain, honestly.|
|Was learning Braille hard? Is Braille the same in other countries outside of the UK?||It wasn't because I was very young, so it was just like a sighted child learning print.|
|This doesn't have an easy answer. Broadly it's the same. The letters A to Z are the same in all languages that use the Latin alphabet, much like they are in print.|
|However, most languages have what is known as contracted, or grade 2, braille. So one character might represent several letters. In English, we have such a character for er, or the, or wh. Because these are common letter combinations. Grade 2 in French will be different, as will grade 2 in German.|
|English speaking countries have also had some variation when it comes to more advanced presentation rules, and certainly braille mathematics. That is why in the early 2000s Unified English Braille was created. With increases in electronic braille production, it was viewed as important to create a unified code, so that electronic braille could easily be shared between English speaking countries, and so there wouldn't be these small variations.|
|You mentioned you love books. You also mentioned that books that are meant to be realistic, but have poor depictions of blind characters frustrate you. Have you read "All the Light We Cannot See" by Anthony Doerr, and if so, how did you feel about the depiction of the blind girl?||I honestly thought it was a bit ridiculous, but not the worst I've read.|
|Have you ever tried to draw anything from your imagination and if so, what did you draw? Could you visualise the drawing after you drew it based on the shapes?||I'm horrible at drawing. I've tried on paper where the lines then are raised, but I'm just not coordinated enough. I struggle to even draw a circle unless I can draw around something.|
|Are there any questions you get that you are tired of or are just like what the hell? Also what's a question that you never have been asked but want to answer?||Honestly how I use a computer. It's exhausting that most people still don't know this.|
|And not really, I do find the deeper, more thoughtful questions interesting though.|
|Are heights or flying scary at all to you?||I actually don't like heights, so I've done things like skydiving and paragliding because I need to get over myself.|
|Do you make facial expressions? If you do, does that mean a smile when we’re happy is built into us.||I do. I can't tell you how I know them, I just do.|
|Do you think you compare yourself to people less than those of us who are sighted? So much of the standard women hold themselves to seems visual to me. Weight, beauty, aging, fashion... I imagine you not to be bombarded with these standards, advertisements, social media visuals. Do you feel less pressure on these things than you imagine we do?||I still feel a huge amount of pressure, compounded by not being able to compare myself. I have to ask people about my own appearance, which then makes me worry that they aren't completely truthful. Even if they are, it's their perception. I'll never have my own true perception of myself, because it's always filtered through information I'm given by others.|
|Is there an equivalent of line graphs and charts that blind people can use? For example did you understand the concept of exponential growth at the start of the Covid-19 crisis?||You can plot these using tactile graph papers. There are audio graphs, which can give an overview of the information.|
|Do you own a printer, 2d or 3d. Can you read print text if its embossed?||I can sort of read print if it's embossed, but often I forget the shapes of the letters and have to be reminded. I don't currently own a printer, I usually go to a library if I need a document printing.|
|i glanced over a couple of your youtube videos, and i noticed your eyeballs sort of wobble back and forth as if you're reading text with your eyes. is that a part of your genetic disorder? or are you doing that consciously, if so why?||It's known as nystagmus. It can exist as a condition on its own, but often it goes hand in hand with other eye diseases, particularly forms of congenital blindness. Essentially I have no control over the muscles in my eyes so these are involuntary movements.|
|To piggyback off the person asking about software accessibility - do you ever spend time with software on a non-personal device - like a public kiosk? Are you able to use the product if there is no headphone jack?||If it has audio output yes. But I would only use something like an ATM if it had a headphone jack so that I could access the information in a confidential manner.|
|What software do you use, especially for email? My mother is blind, stubborn, and cantankerous, always has been even before blindness. She uses an ancient version of JAWS and refuses to update, and I'd love to know what options are out there.||Jaws is good but she'd be better off using the latest version with win10. I use NVDA because it's free, and VoiceOver on my iPhone.|
|Are you often browsing on reddit? And if so, what subreddits do you visit? (You don't have to list any of them if they are too private)||Dogs, blind and the not the onion are some of my favourites. Also just browsing random things. Reddit is kind of a pain in terms of accessibility, so I honestly go elsewhere for chat, which is a shame because I like the people here.|
|I'm actually curious about how Blind People can use computers and how you can read our questions. I'm guessing a special machine is involved, but how does it work ?||I use a screenreader, a piece of software that uses synthesised speech to read out what's on the screen. I also touch type and navigate using a keyboard instead of the mouse.|
|Have you ever thought deeply that being blind was going to affect all your life and had a breakdown or were really depressed?||There have been times. Mostly when a certain aspect of my life isn't going well, so it's easy to attribute it all to blindness. When really there are usually many factors at play.|
|Have you ever tried the app “be my eyes”? It is an interesting app I found for helping with tasks. I thought it would be great to help out a blind or visually impaired person. I’ve only connected with someone once but I’d love to help more.||I have tried it, it can be really useful in certain situations.|
|How was your experience in Colombia? For how long did you live there?||I loved it, I lived there for a year and it was the best year of my life. I loved everything about Colombian culture and the friends I made there. Also, is your username because of In the Heights, or just a coincidence?|
|Do you ever feel self conscious about what you look like to others?||I do, I'm still under the same pressure other people are to look a certain way. I also feel more pressure because if I don't look good, maybe people will attribute that to my blindness and just assume I don't know how.|
|What are some things that you have done that a person who isn't blind, thinks that a blind person wouldn't/couldn't/shouldn't do?||Honestly most things, because people have such low expectations of blind people. Travel, get a job, move away from home, just have a normal adult life.|
|Looks like the mods want proof. How do you plan to do this blind?||I'm not sure how to submit proof to them? I have all my documentation if they want it!|
|Do you ever listen to audiobooks? If so, what’s your favourite?||I do, maybe the His Dark Materials trilogy. I love so many books though.|
|How do audiobooks and films (with audio description) compare to each other, is there one your prefer?||I prefer books but I think that's personality, more than blindness. My sighted sister also prefers books to tv. We both grew up reading a lot as children.|
|How do you perceive colours when you haven't seen them? When someone says "I have a red car", what do you imagine?||I don't, I just accept it as a fact and file it away.|
|Do you get motion sickness? On a roller coaster, a car, a boat or a plane? Or any other way of travel?||I don't personally.|
|Is there anything that we (i.e. the general public) can do to make things easier for you when out and about, without being patronising? I know you are certainly neither stupid nor incapable, but just wondering what I can do to be more considerate perhaps.||Mostly just asking rather than assuming someone needs help, then listening to the answer that is given. Being grabbed is the worst.|
|Hi, I am the father of a 5-month old who was also just diagnosed with LCA. What are some of the things that you wish your parents would have done differently as they were raising you? Edit: also, I understand that someone with LCA has that uncontrollable urge to press/rub their eyeballs, which my baby is doing every 10 seconds, why is that so and how best to stop it?||Hi, it's so great to meet other LCA families. I really wish they'd encouraged me to use a cane far more than they did. Developing those skills at a young age is really critical and makes for a much easier transition into adult life. If you'd like to reach out feel free to do so, I've included a lot of links in my original post and I'm happy to answer more questions, but as this thread is huge I might miss them here.|
|Hi CatchTheseWords, Hope your day finds you well. Do you find or have others commented your senses are better than the sighted? For instance do you find people can’t hear things when you can? And if so...ever considered being a super hero? Cheers!||I'd love to say it was as easy as just deciding to be a superhero! My other senses aren't any better, I just pay attention to them more.|
|When you were younger, did other children ever bully you for being blind or take advantage of your blindness to bully you more easily?||This happened mostly when I was in primary school.|
|It's great that you are self-reliant. But I cannot resist assuming there have been people in your life who must have given you the maximum amount of information about the world around you that couldn't have perceived unless you saw it yourself or unless somebody explained it to you. Who are these people and how did they help you understand the world?||Honestly mostly it was books. I learnt a lot about body language, or how things look, by reading about them. I'm also very lucky to have lots of people in my life who will answer questions if I ask them. My parents for example have always been very open with information.|
|And my orientation and mobility teachers who taught me to use a cane, and who encouraged me to explore my environment.|
|How's the quality on audio description for visual media? Do you feel you're getting a good representation of what's happening on screen?||Overall I feel the quality is high, and I usually get the information I need. Having said that, I've no way of knowing if details are left out, because I wouldn't know they were there unless someone told me.|
|I am a developer who create apps for use. How is modern technology assisting with additional needs for you? Is there additional improvements you see that could help bring internet within your reach easier?||Really complying with existing accessibility guidelines is the biggest thing, and conducting accessibility testing. Technology can remove so many barriers, but if it isn't designed to function with assistive technology it can create barriers as well.|
|What comes to mind when you think of racism?||White conservative assholes.|
|If I’m going through a door and I see a blind person approaching do I hold the door for them? Do I say “I got the door.”?||Definitely say you have it, otherwise we're likely to put our hand out for it and find it's not there. It's totally fine to hold the door, equally, if you're in a rush don't feel guilty for not holding it.|
|i've seen some blind people click their tongues or their fingers to sort of echo locate. kind of like daredevil. i've seen blind people navigate without a cane. can you do that and if so to what extent?||Navigation without a cane, unless in an environment like someone's house, is really dangerous. It's not a mark of success or achievement to do that, because with echo location you can still miss a hole in the ground and fall in it.|
|But yeah, I can echo locate, though mostly I do it passively. So for example by tapping my cane I can use that echo to gain certain information about my environment.|
|Do you drink alcohol? What is your experience like when/if you have?||I do. Usually just the usual embarrassment most people experience.|
|Who was your best teacher?||There were so so many. Honestly I was lucky to have wonderful teachers who all taught me so many things, not just about their particular subject, but life in general.|
|What software and browser-extensions are you using right now to do this AMA? What is your favorite piece of tech.||Firefox, and NVDA is the screenreader. I just use a regular PC and iPhone.|
|How do you want new people, such as a coworker to ask about your blindness?||Just be really open about it. I'd rather someone was direct than was clearly uncomfortable and didn't want to ask. Equally, remember that the person is more than just their blindness, so don't centre it in every conversation.|
|What does the Cosmos mean to you? Like how do you imagine the Cosmos outside of our own planet? Ask the stars, galaxies and stuff? Do these interest you?||It's very, very interesting to me. My greatest disappointment is knowing that I will probably never travel into space and experience it for myself.|
|Being a sighted person, I sometimes think that sight is too easy to rely on at the expense of other senses. It is so easy to get wrapped up in thoughts and overly rely on sight to function, in a lazy way. Sometimes it's difficult to live in the present moment. When I was 25 a friend would say that I was missing out on life, that I should stop and smell the roses more. I wonder if you struggle with living in the moment?||I do. I'm so concerned with my goals I often forget that there is a here and now. I think this is the down side to being so driven.|
|How are you going to know what I've asked in this question?||The same way I wrote my original post.....|
|the below is a reply to the above|
|And how is that? Also, what do you think upvote buttons look like?||Through a combination of a screenreader, a piece of software that allows blind people to access the computer through synthesised speech output of content on the screen, and touch typing. And I'm not sure, maybe a thumbs up?|
|When is your favorite language and/or accents? Also, would you mind sharing an embarrassing story? This is my favorite AMA ever. Thank you for doing this!||I learnt Spanish, and I really love Latin-American Spanish.|
|Hmm, honestly my life is a constant string of embarrassing moments, some blind related, some not. I still feel shame when I remember calling a primary school teacher of mine Grandma when I was like 5. I...don't know why. It just happened in the moment. Not like I actually thought she was my grandma.|
|Could you briefly let us know what it takes for you to record videos and post them to your YouTube channel?||At the moment I'm using a USB webcam to record my videos. I'd have to write a long post, or make a video to really show the process. There are lots of small things I have to do.|
2020.10.02 10:40 KieselguhrKid13 And sex camera hidden mom son
Alright, home stretch foax. This section's a beast. Hang in there and keep sharing your insights! All together now...
"You will want cause and effect. All right." (663) What an opening - it's almost confrontational, mocking our need for clear narrative structure and causality.
We discover that Thanatz was tossed overboard in the same storm that sent Slothrop off the Anubis and off on his adventure with Frau Gnahb. Thanatz is rescued by someone even stranger - an unnamed Polish undertaker (think on the etymology of that word) who happens to be a lightening aficionado. I'll stop here and comment that, earlier, when Slothrop fell into the water before and after getting on the Anubis, it brought to mind the river Styx in Hades - another underworld. It washes clean one's identity and memory. Makes you forget who you are. And there's traditionally a ferryman, Charon, to help people cross it. Can't help but think that's who saved Thanatz here, carrying him from the land of the dead to the land of the unliving, the preterite detritus of WWII.
(An aside: Speaking of Styx, has anyone listened to Mr. Roboto recently? That song has some Gravity's Rainbow vibes.)
Our undertaker here is inspired by the Franklin myth and is trying to get struck by lightening in order to experience that "singular point, [that] discontinuity in the curve of life" (664) passing from a rate of change of positive infinity to one of negative infinity in the blink of an eye. Seems there's something of a conspiracy among those who have been through this point of infinite inflection - a secret society of lightening heads who are aware not of another reality but of a new layer of reality laid on top of our own. Insight into a higher level of reality, of hidden systems.
We get an example of the content of the lightning-aficionado's publication A Nickel Saved and it's supposedly full of coded messages for Those Who Know, each part being a veiled reference to other topics that contain the true meaning, requiring a true paranoid's ability to see (make?) connections. For example, there are repeated mentions of April, Easter, and Spring - the season of rebirth. To an Amperage Contest and lightbulbs failing - Byron the Bulb's attempts to strike back, perchance? A screen-door salesman - what is a screen door except a permeable interface?
But our undertaker isn't interested in secret knowledge - he just wants to be a better businessman - and he deposits Thanatz on the shore and rows back off into the storm. Here, Thanatz meets a group of 175s - men formerly imprisoned in the Dora camp for being gay - who have formed their own solitary community in this isolated section of northern Germany.
I suspect some of this imagery may initially shock readers - concentration camp victims who want to return to their prison? Who set up their own 175-Stadt to recreate the conditions of their imprisonment? But think about it - just last section, we saw Katje, someone who's been used and abused by those in power, balk at the thought of being truly free because she had become dependent on systems of control. She had integrated those control systems as part of her identity, her sense of self. "She needs the whip," Blicero wrote of her (662). Just like Katje, these men became so conditioned to depend on a system of total control and rigid social hierarchies that they don't know how to function without it. Their 175-Stadt doesn't seem like such a ridiculously dark, inappropriate caricature now, does it? Because isn't that a central point of this book - that everyone has been conditioned to need control, to need Their System, to not know how to function without it? Slothrop was our perfect everyman from within this system, and look at what it took for him to actually be free (and even then, the ideal of America still has a colonial outpost in his head). But in their 175-Stadt, these men at least control their system of control. They built it, they staff every level of it, and it's entirely under their control. An isolated state, separate from the broader System. But is there a ruler in this system, a king? No, simply the figment of Blicero. His name, his specter, looming over everything. A system of control with no real king? We've seen that before.
Not only that, but this micro-society is not based strictly on the SS command from Dora, but what the prisoners inferred about the rocket command structure in the Mittelwerke. So even their "recreation" of their imprisonment is an approximation of a different system. I'd also stop here to comment that, is this imagery really as ridiculous/insane as it first appears? I'd say no, since the queeS&M community absolutely took inspiration from Nazi uniforms as symbols of dominance and control, repurposing it into fetishwear. But then, as in this 175-Stadt, the control is by choice, as is the submission. As we've seen elsewhere in this book (Blicero's Oven-State), turning submission into a fetish can be a form of rebellion, since it subverts Their means of control (fear of pain) and turns it into a source of pleasure. Is it truly control if you're choosing it? Enjoying it? No one said this book asks easy questions of its readers...
Thanatz keeps looking for answers, and gets swept up amidst the vast swarms of preterite Displaced Persons being shifted across the zone. What's concerning is that these supposedly-free, albeit displaced, people, are shuffled without purpose across the Zone, with minimal food, water, or medicine, being "herded into wire enclosure[s]" and shipped around in freight cars, "deloused, poked, palpated, named, numbered, consigned, invoiced, misrouted, detained, ignored" (669). It's almost impossible to miss the painful similarity here to the treatment of Jews and other victims of the Holocaust. Only here the mistreatment isn't out of some pathological hatred, simply a system without a place for so many people, and without the committed resources to actually, effectively help them. The thought is unsettling, since we like to imagine that only Naziesque hatred could prompt such brutal mistreatment, not apathy.
Finally, he's rescued by the Schwarzkommando thanks to his knowledge of Blicero and the firing of Rocket 00000. Here, we learn a bit more about what happened that day. Looking into Blicero's eyes, he saw windmills reflected, though none were in the area. Another four-way mandala, like we saw last week with Slothrop. Thanatz isn't in great mental shape by this point, and he's beginning to equate Gottfried and Bianca both as his children. Why? Because he felt some sense of responsibility to them? Because he failed them? Either way, the Schwarzkommando learn all they need from him about that fateful noon on the Heath, though we do not. The section ends with a simple touch of hands between Enzian and Christian, a moment of connection, of trust.
Man, how do I even start summarizing this complete doozy of a section? As Weissenburger writes, "In this episode the narration begins to fragment." (344) Ya don't say... Well, here goes.
We being one serious trip of a section with Slothrop, as part of a rather unimpressive team of quasi-superheros (the "Floundering Four") fighting against evil ol' Broderick Slothrop amidst the factory-state (a Metropolis-like iteration of the Rocket-State with movable buildings?!). Broderick, in the role of comic book supervillain, keeps trying to off Slothrop, but our hero has a lucky streak just wide enough to keep him alive.
Right off the bat, we see another image of the chessboard - the whole factory-state is laid out in a grid, and it's all A Game of Chess, as der Springer already informed us, and our movements are limited. Crucially, "Your objective is not the King - there is no King - but momentary targets such as the Radiant Hour." (674) How can you win at chess when there's no King? How can the land be restored and the cycle renewed if there's no King to die and be replaced?
Slothrop is joined by a truly slipshod lot: Myrtle Miraculous, the only one who seems to have actual powers; Maximilian, a suave Black club manager who can flow with all natural rhythms and thus able to navigate any scenario with ease, and Marcel, a mechanical chess player (an embodiment of the Mechanical Turk, but crucially, one without the hidden human operator. No hidden Grandmaster lurking inside Marcel here - nope, this android's the real deal.
This section includes one of my favorite quotes from the book: "Decisions are never really made - at best they manager to emerge, from a chaos of peeves, whims, hallucinations and all-round assholery." (676) I can think of several times where I've been able to relate to that scenario all too well.
Their chances for success and failure are equal, but these opposing odds don't cancel each other out - instead, the two opposing forces just create a "loud dissonance". The crew undertake some truly hallucinatory adventures through the Racketen-Stadt which I will not attempt to summarize, as that would be an exercise in futility. But we are treated to flashes of Slothrop, "Broderick and Nalline's shadow-child, their unconfessed, their monster son," (677) getting locked in an icebox, piloting a mobile building through the grid-streets of the factory-state like a giant chess piece. One line really jumps out at me, here, that I think is important: "Their struggle is not the only, or even the ultimate one. Indeed, not only are there many other struggles, but there are also spectators, watching, as spectators will do, hundreds of thousands of them." (679) Makes me think of the "glozing neuters," mentioned earlier - of the masses of people who are just trying to live their lives, neither part of any conspiracy nor actively aware of being subject to one. Must be nice. At the same time, the idea of other, simultaneous struggles, is noteworthy - it brings to mind the concept of intersectionality, and how people realizing their unique, individual struggles share common sources, and common traits, which they can work together to fight.
We end this sub-section in an arena for these exact masses, where our heroes are on a stakeout, with Slothrop in full drag waiting in the Transvestites' Toilet for a message.
You may be wondering about the multiple instances of cross-dressing, in various iterations, throughout the book. Slothrop in drag and Blicero in a wig and merkin come to mind. One aspect, I'd say, is that it reflects a blending of two (as far as society is generally concerned) binary opposites. A crossing-over, a transgression against the status quo and an option other than 1 or 0.
Eliot, in his Notes on The Waste Land, wrote,
"Tiresias, although a mere spectator and not indeed a 'character', is yet the most important personage in the poem, uniting all the rest. Just as the one-eyed merchant, seller of currants, melts into the Phoenician Sailor, and the latter is not wholly distinct from Ferdinand Prince of Naples, so all the women are one woman, and the two sexes meet in Tiresias. What Tiresias sees, in fact, is the substance of the poem." (Emphasis mine).Cue Crutchfield the Westwardman's world of only one of everything. Likewise, the women in Gravity's Rainbow often blend together, share traits or imagery. So do the men. The joining of the two sexes in Blicero, as well as Slothrop here at the end, is significant.
"Datta: what have we given? / My friend, blood shaking my heart / The awful daring of a moment’s surrender / Which an age of prudence can never retract / By this, and this only, we have existed." (The Waste Land, Part V: What the Thunder Said - emphasis mine).Both are arguing that it's these key moments, irreversible junctures in our lives that make us real. Not what comes next, not what people say about us, just our moments. Integrate those moments, run them fast enough (say 24 frames per second) and you might even approximate something close to a person...
"The dearest nation of all is one that will survive no longer than you and I, a common movement at the mercy of death and time: the ad hoc adventure." - Resolutions of the Gross Suckling Conference (706)In other words, they seek a nation that does not function independently of its citizens - one that is not some separate identity with a quasi-personhood (much like how corporations are legally "people"). Rather, a nation that is inextricably linked to the people and that will die when they do. No immortality, no denial of the cycle or death.
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2020.08.31 08:48 HaulA31Augl Mom son and hidden camera sex
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2020.08.09 22:45 welcometosouthapp Welcome to South App #2: "Campus 5-0"
Sunday, August 9th, 2020
“Hall check! Wake yo' dumb asses up.”
Winston wiped the grit out of his eyes and checked his phone. 6 AM. He sucked last night’s Cheeto dust off his fingers and ripped a violent fart, causing Tai to spring up from his bed.
“What was that?!” Tai piped up. “And...what’s that smell?”
“Armadillos,” said Winston, lighting a cig. “Liberal town stinks of ‘em.”
Somebody pounded the hell out of the door. “Winston! Tai! I said hall check!”
“Fuuuck,” Winston slurred, hopping off the top bunk. He smacked his head on the way down, landed on his ankle, and dropped his cigarette.
“And that would be the new R.A.,” Tai sighed, shuffling to his feet. “Voice sounds kinda familiar. Welp, our shenanigans were fun while they lasted.”
They emerged into the bright hallway in pajamas. And to their surprise, every student stood next to their door at attention. Some were swearing. Others were sweating. And strangely, there was no R.A. in sight.
“What the hell’s going on here?” Winston muttered.
“Dude, get to attention before he comes back!” hissed Connor: a lanky, nerdy guy with a bowl cut and glasses.
“Is this some kind of joke?” asked Tai. “Somebody must be playing a prank on us or-"
Suddenly clothes, shoes, snacks, beer bottles, and a sex doll flew out of the room at the end of the hall. “Jackpot!” bellowed a voice from inside. “That’s a fuckin’ minor-in-possession charge right there!”
Then, it occurred to Winston: that voice was familiar. Suddenly, his taser mark burned like Spidey Sense. Winston jogged between rows of trembling students, ignoring the suffering cries of “Don’t do it!” and “He’s bigger than you!” In the doorway, Winston saw him: Lionell the bus driver. He sat with his back turned in a swivel chair, browsing his hallmate’s laptop. He appeared to be making himself right at home, his combat boots crossed on top of the desk.
“Looks like the simps in this room are fond of big-titty goth bitches!” he yelled out, scrolling through the browser history of 4K porn.
Winston took a deep breath. “Hey, uh...Mister Lionell?”
Lionell swiveled around to face him. His eyebrows furrowed like two lightning bolts beneath his freshly-waxed head. “Ah, Winston Panty-Pissin’ Beavers. Care to tell me why the fuck you ain’t in formation?”
Winston would rather swallow his own vomit than his pride. “Uh, yes sir. First of all, I wanna apologize for the way I acted on the bus. I was a bonafide douchebag. But I also wanted to ask: can I please get my gun back? My dad gave it to me, and-”
Lionell shot to his feet. He marched over to Winston like a true Marine. Slowly, he reached into his BDU pocket and withdrew the Colt Single-Action Army, cradling it in his calloused hands like Oliver Twist asking for porridge.
“Is, uh…this whatchu want, Mister Beavers?” Lionell mocked in a high-pitched voice.
“Yeah, man!” Winston chuckled nervously. “I’d mighty appreciate it.”
“Go on then!” Lionell snapped. “Take it. But if you do, I’m gonna charge yo’ ass with discharging a firearm near a public highway, destruction of private property, and attempted hijacking of a motor vehicle! And Lionell’s my government name. It’s Deputy Hardy to you.”
Lionell snatched Winston’s hand and placed the gun inside it. The warm muzzle fit his hand perfectly - exactly why his dad had chosen it for him. And it pained Winston that much more to hand the Colt back to Lionell. Winston had reluctantly made up his mind.
“That’s what I fucking thought,” Lionell sneered. “You’re a pussy, and daddy would be ashamed." Lionell pocketed the gun and marched out of the room, down the hall of petrified students. “Ya know, I’d say daddy shoulda left yo’ ass on a tissue. Then again, why waste a perfectly good tissue, ya dig?”
Lionell reached Room 309 and stepped inside.
“We gotta do something about this son of a bitch,” whispered Tai, as a seething Winston came to attention next to his room.
“Dude, there’s not shit we can do except comply,” whispered Connor, shaking his head. “Most of us have shit in our room way worse than alcohol." Connor pressed his finger against his nostril and pretended to snort cocaine. “Look, the way I see it: we just gotta let the R.A. do his thing. Let’s face it: we’re Lionell’s bitch.”
“Holy fucking shit!” Lionell cheered. “I gots me some goodies in this room.” He walked out with a bag of Winston’s hand-cut tobacco, a jar of moonshine, and a few boxes of .45 ammo. But Winston’s anger paled in comparison to the sheer horror on Tai’s face. Under Lionell’s arm was a binder with big, bold letters reading HAWT BOOK. Tai’s eyeballs nearly popped out of his skull.
“He cannot...read...that book!” Tai whispered, gripping Winston’s shoulder.
“Sheesh, dude,” Winston said with a shrug. “Quit your bitchin’. He done took my Alabama moonshine. A few inbreds died making that batch.”
“Mine’s worse, roomie,” Tai’s voice cracked. “Much worse.”
Four floors up, Gigi opened her eyes to the sun in her face. She stared up at the ceiling, a visible heatwave cooking the room. One of these days, the paint would melt off the ceiling and coat her entire body while she slept.
Like Winston, Gigi was a member of the Top Bunk Club. And she too had rolled off the bunk and twisted her ankle more than once. On this day she sat up too quickly, feeling a rush of hard cider to the head. She felt herself tumbling down, down, down - landing squarely on the bean bag chair below.
The room spun above her head, her heart pounding in her throat. She slumped over, crawling across the soft, white shag carpet. Gripping the towel rack, she pulled her body up, bent over the sink, and threw up. She flopped onto the cold tile floor, smiling as the nausea left her body.
Somebody gently tapped on her door.
“Sarah?” Gigi called out, her voice hoarse and dry. “Um...can you grab me a Sprite?”
“Oooh, my-a Gigi!” called out an Asian lady. It was Kim Moon: Gigi’s mom. “How are you? Did you have much drink? I cannot wait hear everything!”
Gigi lay in a fetal position, covering her mouth. “M-mom?!”
“Yes, my-a Gigi!” replied Kim. “Please open door for hall check. I am your new R.A!”
Gigi projectile vomited on the shag rug.
Minutes later, Kim was on her knees scrubbing the rug while Gigi sat on the futon. Kim had raided Gigi’s cabinet for rubber gloves, bleach, and an old towel. She aggressively scrubbed the carpet until that one spot was much cleaner than the rest of it.
“Like I always tell-a you,” Kim said, looking up. “Cleanliness next to godliness." She smiled, displaying a row of pale yellow teeth. Her black, thinning hair draped down the back of her neck. She was even shorter than her daughter.
“Um...yep!” Gigi laughed nervously. She sipped a Sprite, pulling her knees to her chest. “So...what exactly is going on?”
“My-a Gigi,” Kim cooed, cradling her daughter’s face in her gloved hands. “My heart-a broke when you leave. I cry and cry, then I finally close up shop be with you!”
Back in suburban Atlanta, Kim ran a small farmer’s market out of a shed on her property. Gigi spent her adolescent and teenage years harvesting vegetables and selling them in exchange for a weekly allowance. Kim always swore that Gigi (or possibly her bratty little sister, Catherine) would someday inherit the house and family business.
“Why-a don’t we start our hall check? I bake-a cookies for all you ladies while we tell story of baby Gigi!”
Tai and Winston stood at attention, while Lionell paced the hallway with Tai’s HAWT BOOK in hand.
“I told y’all motherfuckers I done struck gold!” Lionell bellowed.
As Lionell approached, the students’ faces burned red. Lionell stopped in front of the room across the hall. “Now what’s...yo name?”
“C-C-Connor,” said the bowl-cut kid.
“Ah, mah’fuckin’ Connor! That right there’s a hwhite boy name." Lionell flipped through the binder. And while the other students stared in horror, Winston was the only one fighting to hold back a laugh.
“Ah, Connor in Room 308!” Lionell read from the binder. “Pros: tight ass; confirmed six-pack. Cons: probably not bi-curious; probably a top. Overall rating: 7/10.”
Winston exploded into laughter. “Damn, Connor, you’re tied with Fat Will!" William, the chunky neckbeard down the hall, gave a hesitant thumbs-up. In Tai’s binder, Will had also scored a 7/10 for having a size-13 shoe size and being a sloppy eater.
“I ain’t done yet, funny boy!” Lionell yelled in Winston’s face. “I done saved the best for last. The mah-fuckin’ creme-de-la-creme. Wiiinston Beavers!”
“Ha!” Winston interrupted, pointing at the 3/10 Leftward-Sloping-Penis-Rick down the hall. “That means you’re officially in last place, bitch!”
Earlier, Tai had been sweating bullets. But after having his deepest, darkest secrets broadcasted so theatrically, his expression was dull and lifeless.
“Winston Beavers: my temporary college roommate,” Lionell read. “Cons: leaves his dirty boots on the carpet, doesn’t wash his sheets, doesn’t wash his scrotum, drinks milk from the carton, everything he touches turns into Cheeto dust, and the room smells like dead armadillos when he’s around.”
Winston stopped laughing.
“Pros: good snacks,” Lionell sneered. “Final score: 0.5 out of 10.”
“This is horse shit!” Winston yelled, punching the wall. He stomped down the hall of cringing students. Tai trailed behind while the thunderous laughter of Deputy Hardy faded behind them.
“Wait, hold up!” Tai called out in the stairwell. “Just let me explain."
“Ain’t nothin’ to explain!” Winston shot back. “Apparently, I’m a temporary roommate. So I ain’t gonna show my armadillo ass around Firewater much longer.”
“Okay man, I admit it,” Tai said, throwing his hands up. “I’m not sorry for writing that, but I am sorry you had to hear it. Besides! It’s not like it’s something that can’t be fixed. I have a wide array of hygiene products that’ll help with at least a quarter of the things on that list!”
Winston scoffed like a wild hog. But his expression softened as he mulled it over. “You got any of that...sandalwood cologne?”
“Hell yes I do!” said Tai, perking up. “I’ve got creams, lotions, salves, colognes - you name it! Roomie, allow me to become your personal fabulous assistant! Why, I’ll have you looking spiffy for Miss Claire Dansby in no time.”
“Now you’re talking my language,” Winston said, shaking on it. “Deal.”
They entered the 700 Hall to the sound of giddy laughter. The ladies gathered around the petite Miss Kim, who sat in a stool in the middle of the hallway. Like Kindergarteners, they watched earnestly while the woman held a photo album.
“And dis one,” Kim squeaked, pointing at one of the photos, “is my-a Gigi during first birthday. She eat-a cake, and eat, and eat. She get very, very fat! And you no notice now, because she smaaall as Oompa Loompa now.”
The women howled with laughter while Gigi sat slumped against the wall, wishing she would melt into it.
“And how-a can we-a forget!” Kim gasped. “Dis one is my-a Gigi dressed-a like Neenja Turtle. She has-a Neenja Turtle jammies, Neenja Turtle bedsheets, and even-a Neenja Turtle potty!”
“Sorry Ma’am, we gotta go!” announced Winston, grabbing Gigi’s hand. “Sunday brunch is about to start.”
“Oh!” cried Kim. “Why, hello! Handsome gentlemen stay for my-a cookies?”
But the three freshmen were already out the door.
The Chubby Beaver Cafe rewarded Sunday brunch to hungover early birds on campus. A full spread of “Beaverific” entrees: bourbon maple chicken and waffles, crepes stuffed with fresh fruit puree, and virgin screwdrivers (i.e. BYOB). The main attraction: a giant hand-carved ice beaver statue.
But the distraught Winston, Gigi, and Tai were sickened by the thought of fine dining. Instead, they drowned their sorrow in a mile-high stack of bacon on a plate. While they silently munched on sadness and grease, Sarah swept by with a crepe and a screwdriver. She plopped down in the seat next to Winston.
“Helllo, lovelies!” she greeted. Unlike the other three pajama slobs, she wore a long, purple skirt and newly-braided dreadlocks. Sarah was rushing a week early, having spent the night stargazing with a co-ed hippie fraternity.
“What’s with the plate of animal carcasses, bro?” Sarah asked, sipping her drink. “Does a pig have to die for you to live?”
“Fuck it, I’m full,” growled Winston, pushing his plate across the table. Tai and Gigi turned away like dogs refusing to eat.
“Geez, who rained on your parade?” Sarah asked, cracking open a shot bottle of vodka and discretely pouring it into her orange juice.
Winston pointed at the entrance. “See for yourself.”
The freshmen watched a group of men and women stroll into the cafe, dressed in their Sunday-best attire of black tailored suits and dresses. And yet, in context, it seemed like they were marching to a funeral.
“Wait,” Sarah whispered. “That’s the-"
“Campus 5-0,” Winston finished. He stood on top of his chair. “Code red!”
Immediately, every student scrambled to hide their weed, mini liquor bottles, and pain pills. Several students pulled their hands out of their girlfriends’ panties. And the conversation shifted from scoring molly to scoring into the South App Honors Program.
“Wait, that’s the bus driver, right?” Sarah asked, pointing out the freshly-waxed bald head in the crowd. “God, tell me he’s not your R.A!”
“He is, oh God he is!” Tai moaned dramatically. He grabbed a handful of bacon, stuffed it into his mouth, and crawled under the table.
Lionell reached into his pocket and made his hand into the shape of a gun. He aimed it at Winston, shut his left eye, and "fired." Winston didn’t so much as move a muscle while Lionell blew on his hand, placed the “gun” in his pocket, and got in line for waffles.
“Um...I’ve got it worse - tenfold!” Gigi laughed nervously. On cue, Momma Moon approached their table wearing a long, black dress.
“O-a, my-a Gigi and friends!” Kim greeted, folding her hands in front of her waist. “When you-a leave, I unlock your-a door and do all your laundry!”
“What?!” Gigi choked. “You have a key to my room?”
“My dear-a, I need keep an eye on you as your R.A! I not go anywhere! I need make sure you safe and clean. All your thong-a, and even your granny panty.”
With that, Gigi grabbed a handful of bacon, stuffed it into her mouth, and slipped under the table to join Tai.
And now only the two siblings remained. Kim reached over and stroked Winston’s beard. “It’s-a been long time since my-a Gigi have strong American friend take-a care of her. You make sure she-a be good girl while she get teeth degree.”
“Uh, sure thing ma’am,” Winston replied while Kim gave him a boop on the nose with her finger.
“You-a fluffy man. You look handsome if you no fat.”
Sarah burst into laughter, downing the rest of her screwdriver. But Kim picked up Sarah’s empty glass, traced the rim, and placed a finger in her mouth. “Oooh, naughty, naughty. I think you put alcohol in there-a. That means-a I impose 7 PM curfew for week.”
“What?!” screamed Sarah. “You bitch!”
“Oooh, careful,” Kim cooed, picking up a slice of bacon and pointing at Lionell across the room. “If you no comply, I tell big cop man that you minor in possession." She spun around and walked off, nibbling on the bacon like a chipmunk.
Sarah snapped the glass at the stem. “Let’s sabotage these fuckin’ R.A.'s!”
Winston narrowed his eyes, watching as Lionell poured a cup of runny batter into the waffle iron. He rotated the handle to start the timer, and his carb cake began to cook.
“Now’s our chance,” Winston said, springing up from his chair. “Follow me, sis.”
“What about them?” Sarah asked, pointing under the table.
Winston grabbed the plate of bacon and lifted the tablecloth. Tai and Gigi immediately snatched it up like cave trolls, feasting in their underground lair.
“All that pork and they’re skinny as rails,” Winston muttered to Sarah.
“Ah, I see Momma Moon hit a nerve with you,” Sarah teased, rubbing his belly. “Are you out to impress her now? Or is it her daughter you seek?”
Winston scoffed as he and Sarah weaved through tables of hungover students. “Nah, just Claire,” he replied.
“Ah, I knew it!” Sarah laughed. “Your southern damsel in distress. So, you wanna know a secret that only a woman would know?”
“It’s gonna take a lot more than good looks to score with a woman like her.”
“The solution...is that there is no solution. You have to be born into it. Sorry!”
At the waffle station, Lionell lifted the handle and grabbed his waffle, imprinted with the S.A.U. Beaver logo. And as he searched for the maple syrup, Winston dangled it in front of his face.
“Got a wager for ya, Deputy,” Winston proposed, dousing his waffle with syrup while Lionell furrowed his brow. “And the stakes are mighty high.”
“You got ten seconds,” Lionell snarled, “Before I stomp yo’ ass in front of your sister." Sarah took a sip of her fresh screwdriver, middle finger up.
“Whoa, easy tiger,” said Winston. He poured a scoop of batter into the waffle iron and slammed it shut. “I’ll put it like this: you look like you’ve eaten from a pig trough once or twice in your life.”
“You got some fuckin’ nerve.”
“Hey, I have too! Nothin’ to be ashamed of. Your colleague over there called me out on my weight too. You’re an American. I’m an American. So let’s do what we Americans do best: have a good old-fashioned eating contest.”
Lionell paused. He swiped a knob of butter with his knife and slathered his waffle. “Now what’s in it for me?”
“Simple. If you win, you get to give me a 7 PM curfew for a month." Sarah suddenly spat out her screwdriver, clutching Winston’s sleeve. “And if I win, you get the fuck out of my hall.”
A gleaming smile washed across Lionell’s face. Students began setting their phones down to eavesdrop. The waffle iron alarm went off. Lionell swiped the fluffy waffle and dropped it on a plate.
“Aight, Beavers. But I get to decide what we eatin’. Annnd march!”
Lionell snapped to attention, about-faced, and marched down the buffet line. Winston quickly slathered his waffle with syrup and butter, following behind. At the chicken station, Lionell grabbed the tongs and swiped a piece of growth-hormone fried chicken for both of them. Five slices of bacon to top it all off.
That’s it? Winston thought. This is just any given Tuesday for me.
But instead of heading back to a table, Lionell about-faced to the waffle station again. “I ain’t through with you by a damn sight,” Lionell warned. “I’m about to get diabetic on yo’ ass!”
Lionell and Winston cycled through the buffet line, layering the waffles, chicken, and bacon three more times. By now, Gigi and Tai had joined the crowd of gossiping students. When Sarah recapped the challenge, Gigi crossed her arms, containing a large belch in her throat.
“Wow, how can Winston eat all of that?” Gigi groaned. “Is he from this world?”
“You’d be surprised,” Sarah chuckled, shaking her head. “My brother is a bonafide carnivore. Hell, he used to have this YouTube channel. What was it...ah, Feng Shui of the Gut. He’d upload these crazy eating challenges once or twice a week. My parents couldn’t keep a full pantry. And let’s just say it got to the point where they made Winston buy his own toilet paper.
That mental image seared in Gigi’s mind as the two competitors sat down with their two-foot-tall stacks of grease. And since Winston’s gut would certainly be “feng shui’d” this afternoon, Tai thanked God that their dorm bathrooms were down the hall instead of in their room. All eyes were on them. Not to mention, several live video feeds. Winston and Lionell placed their paper napkins on their laps, gripping a knife and fork in their fists.
“One last finishing touch,” Lionell declared. “Waiter! Bring me some ranch.”
Magically, a student worker swept by with a ladle of ranch dressing. Lionell drowned their chicken and waffles with the stuff. The color drained from both Winston’s and Sarah’s face. Even she knew he was doomed.
When Winston was a wee lad in Trinity, he’d grown up pouring ranch dressing on his school pizza, corn nuggets, and hot dogs. But all of that had come to a halt in middle school. One day, he’d brought a cobb salad for lunch to impress the football cheerleaders. And after taking his first bite, he had pulled a long strand of gray hair out of his mouth. Courtesy of a lunch lady who had always refused to wear a hairnet. Needless to say, Winston had never touched ranch dressing ever since.
“Go, fat boy!” Lionell barked.
Winston shook the memory and dug in. He tried to saw the soggy waffle stack with a butter knife. Lionell simply grabbed a handful of food and stuffed it into his mouth. So Winston tossed his silverware aside and went to town. The syrup, ranch, butter, and chicken grease coagulated in his stomach. But he trucked through, sickened by the thought of a sunset curfew. And by now, there was a clear divide in the crowd: the faculty and staff backing Lionell and the students cheering for Winston.
“Gonna beat that bitch ass!” Lionell scoffed between bites.
Lionell was a food machine, shoveling down the first layer like he was born for it. Now Winston could eat his way out of trouble too. But the watered-down expired ranch stuck to the back of his throat. He switched his approach, fetching his napkin and wiping off each piece of bacon and chicken. He scarfed those down with ease. But the longer the waffles sat there, the more they puffed up in size as they soaked in the ranch.
“Fuck me,” Winston groaned, washing his food down with a glass of Mountain Dew. Meanwhile, Lionell looked like a mental patient, his cheeks and chin coated in grease and dressing. Winston looked down at the sweet, salty, gooey, gelatinous pile of batter. His stomach churned as he felt something rise from his stomach to his throat...
“Drink this, bro!” Sarah yelled, tilting Winston’s head back. She poured a steady stream of Pepto-Bismol into his mouth. And now, the flavor of stale bubblegum was added to the milky, tangy ranch. Time stood still. Winston suddenly imagined a tiny lunch lady sitting in that pink bottle. Holding a fishing pole. Casting a fishing line down Winston’s throat. A line made of her own hair.
Winston turned to his side and threw up on the floor.
It was over. Lionell stood to his feet, holding up a clean plate and dragging his tongue across it. Winston panted on hands and knees while Sarah and Tai lay hands on him. Gigi rushed back with a refill of Mountain Dew.
“On the bright side...I got the whole thing on video so we can still put it on your YouTube channel!” Gigi cheered.
“Wh-what? Who told you about that?” Winston looked up, feeling a second wave coming.
Before Gigi could answer, Kim came by with a mop and a bucket full of chemicals. “I clean, I clean! Remember, my daughter: cleanliness next to godliness!”
At 6:55 PM Sarah lay on her bunk reading an H.P. Lovecraft novel she borrowed from Evelyn. Gigi was organizing the massive pile of clean panties on the futon, courtesy of Kim. At the age of 18, she couldn’t bear the thought of her mom sorting through the different shapes, sizes, and colors. Once again, she wished lightning would just strike her dead where she stood…
Somebody knocked on the door.
“Oh, looks like curfew check,” Gigi said. “Good thing you’re already in the room!" Without looking up from the book, Sarah flipped her off. Gigi grabbed her comforter and draped it over Panty Mountain. But when she opened the door, it was Winston. He was holding a 6-foot metal pole.
“Howdy,” Winston said, slipping in and closing the door. “I heard you’re part of the Top Bunk Club, so I got ya a safety bar.”
“Oh, cool! That’s very thoughtful of you, Winston! I almost died this morning when I fell off.”
But Sarah saw right through his brother’s facade. “That’s obviously not why he’s not here,” she muttered, bookmarking her place and sitting up in bed. “He’s trying to avoid his curfew. Look, bro, can’t you just admit defeat every now and then? It sucks. But if I’m following the rules, then so can you.”
“Hey check this out, sis,” Winston proposed. He propped the safety bar against the wall and sat next to hidden Panty Mountain. “All I gots to do is hang out here for a little bit, and then we can all sneak out and go to trivia at that pizza joint downtown.”
Before they could consider it, there was a single, thunderous pound on the door. “Winston, I know yo’ ass is in there!” Lionell yelled.
“Shit,” Sarah hissed. “Quick, get in the closet!”
“Hey, I ain’t like my roommate, ya know." But Sarah grabbed Winston’s shoulders and shoved him in, closing the rasta sheet. Gigi took a breath and opened the door.
“Deputy!” Gigi greeted. “Quite the lovely post-curfew evening on campus. What say ye?”
But Lionell walked straight past her into the center of the room. He put his hands on his hips, admiring the clean and tidy living space. Sarah’s prog-rock band posters. Gigi’s bulletin board containing OCD-level to-do lists.
“Ya know, for such a cozy girls’ room,” Lionell pondered, “it sho’ smells like a boy came up in here and took a giant steamy shit.” He eyed the massive pile on the futon and grabbed a corner of the comforter. “There you are! So you think you can do whatever you want like you fucking own South App! Well, you’re fixin’ to have bruises on yo’ knees when I’m through with ya!”
Lionell flung away the comforter, revealing Gigi’s entire collection of panties. Her jaw hit the floor, and Sarah shot to her feet.
“Look, he’s not here!” Sarah asserted. “He’s back over at the cafe for wing night, stuffing his face as usual. Matter fact, he wants to meet ya there for a rematch, if you-”
But Lionell heard none of it. For the first time, the lines on his face softened, and his eyes nearly teared up at the beautiful sight. He picked up a pair of frilly, blue panties and held them in front of his face. Gigi stammered in absolute horror.
“G-get the fuck out of here, you f-fucking asshole!" Gigi spat.
Sarah lunged for the panties, but Lionell’s giant hand shoved her back onto the bed. He whipped out Winston’s revolver and pointed it square at Sarah’s forehead. “Now, now. This is between me and this little Asian piece of ass directly adjacent to me." Lionell casually gestured to Gigi with the gun before pointing it back to Sarah. “Now, Miss Gigi. Allow me to make a proposal.”
Winston watched everything unfold from behind the rasta sheet. With the closet being a few long strides away, he had no opening for a surprise attack. Especially against a Marine. He watched Lionell bring the panties up to his face and inhale deeply.
“You see,” Lionell casually explained to a mortified Gigi, tears welling up in her eyes. “I must admit, you have some mighty fine taste, as evidenced by the smorgasbord in front of me. But all I smell is detergent. Now say you...wore one of these for a few days, and then gave it back to me? Matta fact, how would you like to have your first year of tuition and books paid for? Why I’ll even sweeten the pot!" Lionell tightened the grip on his gun to remind Sarah not to try anything. “I’ll disappear from Firewater, and your two retarded boy-toys will neva have to see mah ass again. Thass right. Gigi Moon, yo’ entire tuition, fees, football tickets - everything paid in full. And you won’t eva have to work a day in a greasy dish pit or stocking shelves at Walmart. All’s you have to do is live with me in my apartment...and be my little yellow-bone slut."
Lionell reached into his tight pants and began touching himself. Winston crouched down behind the curtain. Lionell gritted his teeth, pressing the gun more firmly against Sarah’s forehead. Suddenly, Winston pushed off on his heel, emerging from behind the rasta sheet. As Lionell gasped, Winston speared him in the gut, tackling him to the ground. The gun flew out of Lionell’s hand, sliding under the futon.
“Fuck you, cunt!” Winston yelled, straddling Lionell and throwing punches at the face. Lionell struggled to free his hand, which was still stuck in his tight pants. But he caught one of Winston’s punches and rolled with him on the ground. Now Winston had a 300-pound man on top of him. Lionell struck him repeatedly with a ham-bone fist. All the while, he struggled to free his other hand from his pants.
“I take krav maga, bitch!” Sarah yelled as Gigi and Sarah took turns kicking Lionell in the ribs from either side. But Lionell shook them off like fleas, convulsing with anger in a steroid rage.
“Gigi...the gun,” Winston muttered through bleeding lips. Lionell flung Sarah against the wall, apparently knocking her out. Gigi nodded, dashing toward the futon, while Lionell finally freed his hand from his pants.
“Open yo’ mouth, motherfucka,” Lionell roared. He gripped Winston’s throat with one hand while raising that other smelly, sweaty hand to Winston’s mouth. “You gonna learn today,” Lionell whispered, jamming his entire fist, finger-by-finger, into his mouth. “You gonna taste what it means to be conquered by a motherfuckin’ BBC, you filthy little - *OOOF*!”
Lionell froze, his eyes shooting wide open. And slowly, he leaned to the side, capsizing like a ship. He fell unconscious. Through blurry eyes, Winston saw Gigi gripping the safety bar like a katana.
“Um...turns out that was a pretty thoughtful gift!” Gigi cheered.
An hour later, half of Firewater Hall congregated in the main lobby. They gossipped among themselves while a cop car drove off with former Deputy Lionell Hardy. The four freshmen sat on a sofa in the corner, sipping Starbucks.
“Holy shit,” Tai reacted after the others recapped the fight. “That asshole must have been roided up to be able to take all you guys on!”
“Tell me about it,” Winston groaned, pressing his Frappuccino up to his swollen cheek. “I don’t know if I’d be here if Gigi hadn’t gone Mark McGuire on his ass.”
Gigi sipped her Frappuccino as she tried to figure out whether that was the name of a Renaissance painter or NASCAR driver.
“Well, I would’ve saved the day with my deadly roundhouse kicks,” Sarah declared proudly, standing to her feet. “If only Gigi would have distracted him like I asked.”
Gigi took her shoe off and threw it at her. The four freshmen laughed. And interrupting the playful banter was a middle-aged blonde lady with a short bob haircut. She stood on top of a chair and cleared her throat.
“Excuse me, I need everyone’s attention, please. I’m Karen, Director of the Resident Assistants Program here on campus.”
“She totes looks like a Karen,” a sorority girl whispered. Another smart-ass in the crowd made a police siren noise with his mouth.
“Why, yes,” Karen continued. “Sometimes known colloquially as the, um...Campus 5-0. Now then! I see we have had quite the eventful evening in Firewater. And that is why I want to address the status of our…unmonitored 300 Hall." Winston and Tai suddenly perked their ears up. “Effective immediately, the 300 Hall will no longer be under direct R.A. supervision.”
Winston’s and Tai’s jaws dropped to their floor as they exchanged goofy-ass smiles.
Karen held her hand in the air to stop the commotion. “Yes, yes. I do want to advise you. That doesn’t mean that there will be no law and order on the 300 Hall. Underage drinking and weed are serious offenses that could have you expelled and put away in prison for the rest of your life. I assure you that the other R.A.’s are liable at any time to monitor the 300 Hall at their own discretion. Have a good night, and be safe.”
Most students began filing back up to their rooms. But an all-too-familiar face pranced up to Gigi and crossed her arms in front of her slim waist.
“Oh! My-a poor Gigi!” Kim cooed, wrapping her arms around her daughter and kissing her forehead. “I wish I still be here protect you from bad man. But it look like mah service no longer needed anymore.”
Gigi tilted her head to the side, staring at Kim’s cheerful expression. Then Gigi slowly panned over to Sarah, whose face tensed up, trying to hold back a laugh.
“What’s...what’s going on?” Gigi asked them.
“It worked!” Sarah snickered. “Oh, my God, it fucking worked!" Winston and Tai stopped discussing hallway Slip-and-Slide plans to listen in.
“I’m so confused?” Gigi laughed nervously.
“Oh, Gigi...you are almost as naive as you are kind!” Sarah said condescendingly. “Why, Kim was never your R.A. in the first place. Alas, t’was all a masterful plan concocted by yours truly. And Kim played the part beautifully, I might add.”
Sarah gave Kim a golf clap while Kim crossed her legs and gave a polite curtsy.
“But Mom! If you’re not my R.A….then who is?”
“I am,” interrupted Evelyn, the front desk security. She set down her book and walked over to them. She was looking a little less emo than usual with her curly jet-black hair. Yet, she still found it in her heart to don ripped jeans and grey painted nails. “Now don’t you worry, kid,” Evelyn said, putting her arm around Gigi’s shoulder. “If you’re gonna smoke and drink, just keep it out of plain sight. If I see it, then you have to share it. Capiche?"
Gigi slowly nodded her head, her throbbing head trying to process it all. “Oh, and one more thing,” Evelyn added. “No threesomes in the bathroom, please. We don’t have HAZMAT suits, ya know. Just keep that shit in the room, and we’ll be good." Evelyn gave Sarah a side-eye. “Unless it’s a female threesome, of course.”
Back in the girls’ room, Gigi’s laundry was put away, Winston’s blood was cleaned up, and the safety bar was secured on the top bunk. At her desk, she typed away at her Honors Program admissions essay. Sarah and Evelyn lounged on the futon, swearing at each other over an intense Mario Kart race. And as Gigi tried to form a thesis on why dental hygienists were more important than brain surgeons, her phone buzzed. A text from Winston.
Hey, can you come down here and bring me my gun? My hands are tied right now. It’s under the futon, right?
Gigi walked over to the futon and got down on hands and knees, blocking the gamers’ view of the TV. Sarah scoffed while Gigi crawled under the futon and reached as far back as she could, feeling around for the gun.
“Damn it, Gigi - you messed up my blue shell!” Sarah complained, flinging her controller across the room.
“Aww, don’t fuss at her,” Evelyn teased, staring down at Gigi’s smooth, toned legs that stuck out from beneath the futon. “She’s so fun-sized!”
Gigi crawled out and shot to her feet with the revolver in hand. “Careful what you say, roomie,” she said. “You were knocked out, so you didn’t bear witness to my epic sword skills! I don’t think you wanna provoke a ninja with a gun!”
“You’re holding it upside down,” Sarah sighed.
Gigi stashed the revolver in her purse and headed down to the 300 Hall. She raised her hand to knock...then decided that, after today, the four of them were officially on a “no-knock” basis.
“Hi, boys!” Gigi cheered, opening the door. Winston sat in a chair in front of the mirror while Tai stood behind him, styling his hair to the side with pomade. Winston was dressed in a white collared shirt, a grey tie to match his dress pants, and snakeskin cowboy boots. “Wow, Winston,” Gigi mouthed in awe. “You look....um, different! Is that sandalwood?”
“Yeeep,” Tai answered, pulling out a razor and trimming Winston’s beard. “Our man no longer smells like a gym locker room. And I’m sure she will appreciate that.”
“Oh...and who might that be?” Gigi asked suspiciously.
“Miss Claire Dansby,” Winston answered, lighting a cigarette while Tai worked behind him. “I reckon we’ll be running into her tonight.”
“Oh, um...cool! Is she going to be on our trivia team? I mean, after today I think the four of us make a pretty good team, but another brain couldn’t hurt!”
Tai and Winston averted their eyes. An awkward silence while the razor buzzed.
“Yeah, Gigi,” Winston trailed off, taking a drag. “There’s been a change in plans. Claire is actually hosting karaoke at a bar downtown. It’ll just be me and Tai tonight. We’ll have to take a rain check on trivia. Sorry ’bout that.”
“I’m his wingman for Claire!” Tai interjected, wiping Winston’s face with a hot towel.
Gigi just stood there as Tai worked his magic, transforming this good ole country boy into a future country star. And as the scent of sandalwood flooded her nostrils again, she knew she had to leave the room. Not because she hated it, but because she was afraid to admit that she loved it.
“Well, in that case,” Gigi began, placing her hand on the doorknob. “I hope you find immediate gratification in crafting twangy southern anthems for a bonafide like-minded Alabama ten! I do regret to inform you that the proper authorities have confiscated your metal-projecting apparatus!”
Blank stares from Winston and Tai.
“I mean...have fun with your woman! And it looks like the police took your gun as evidence.”
Before Winston could respond, Gigi was already in the stairwell, heading back up to her room. Sarah and Evelyn were on their feet with controllers in hand, screaming at Mortal Kombat.
“Get over here, you fucking asshole!” Sarah yelled, mashing buttons.
“I don’t think I shall!” Evelyn retorted in a British accent. “Looks like you’re…frozen in fear!”
Gigi silently walked past them. She sat down at her computer and typed the first thing that came to her mind: My name is Gigi Moon, and I should be in the Honors Program because I have no fucking social skills whatsoever. But tonight, I proved that I can make up for it with my epic ninja skills!
Only 4,963 words to go, she thought.
But very little writing was done that night while Sarah and Evelyn mashed buttons and took turns screaming “Fatality!” at the top of their lungs. Finally, Gigi put her headphones on. She pulled up YouTube and searched for Feng Shui of the Gut. A hundred videos of Winston’s old ridiculous eating challenges.
One of the most popular videos caught Gigi’s eye: I [email protected]#KED UP! STRANDED ON THE TOILET. She clicked Play. Right away, there was a close-up of a younger and skinnier Winston, no older than 16. The camera was zoomed on his clean-shaven face. And yes, he was clearly sitting on the toilet.
“Yee-haw, fellers!” greeted Young Winston, sweat dripping down his forehead. “Welcome back to Feng Shui of the Gut. Earlier today, I decided to scarf down a five-pound bag of Sugar-Free Haribo Gummy Bears! I’m sorry, did I say today?" Winston leaned forward until his face filled the entire frame. “I meant yesterday! I’ve been stuck on this (BLEEP)ing toilet for 24 (BLEEP)ing hours!”
Maybe it was procrastination that kept Gigi glued to the screen. Maybe it was morbid curiosity. But while Sarah and Evelyn took turns ripping each others’ spines out and lighting each other on fire, Gigi binged through all 100 of Winston’s old videos. Most revealing were dozens of fast food reviews. In these videos, Winston would eat a burger in his truck while talking about politics, religion, and women. He even went on a 10-video spree chronicling his war against a yellow jacket colony at his mom’s place.
When Gigi’s head hit the pillow at 3 AM, she felt as if she knew Winston Arnold Beavers better than she knew herself. Most notably: chicken wings was his favorite food, curry would make him dig a hole if there wasn’t a toilet nearby, and he absolutely positively despised ranch dressing.
submitted by welcometosouthapp to welcometosouthapp [link] [comments]
2020.08.05 20:33 elvis6Aug Hidden camera mom and son sex
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submitted by elvis6Aug to u/elvis6Aug [link] [comments]
2020.07.31 02:24 CarlB1961 Hidden camera mom and son sex
On the night of October 23, 1991 in a suburban neighborhood in San Diego, California, a family of four was brutally murdered in their home. The nature of the killings were so horrific that the details were never fully released to the public. The police investigated the crime for months, but no leads, suspects or motives were ever discovered and eventually the case went cold.
In May of 2016, the (then) current owners of the home were doing renovations and made a discovery hidden behind a base board in an upstairs bedroom: a dusty old VHS cassette tape bearing a yellowed label, on which was printed in faded but still legible handwriting: "Voices in the Attic."
Curious, the homeowners purchased a secondhand VCR in order to play the tape. After viewing its contents, they notified the San Diego Police Department, who confiscated the tape. After viewing the VHS tape themselves, the Police Department contacted the FBI.
The contents of that tape have never been made public...until now.
(The tapes opens with a close-up of the face of a young girl who appears to be roughly fourteen years of age. Subsequently, she has been identified as the daughter of the deceased original owners of the home. The footage indicates she is being recorded on a mid-grade video camcorder. The camera angle suggests she is holding the camera, filming herself. Behind her we can see a typical middle-class teenage girl's bedroom. In the upper corner of the frame we can see the red REC icon, and at the bottom is the timestamp: 11:58P.M OCT. 23 '91. She begins speaking, addressing the camera in a whisper.
GIRL: ...Okay, here we go. I think it's recording. So, it's almost midnight. They're all asleep. It should start again soon. I'm borrowing my Dad's camcorder to get this all. Mom and Dad still don't believe me about the voices I've been hearing coming from the attic the last three nights. I'm going to get them on tape this time so I have proof.
(The camera view changes as she switches it around, aiming it up at the ceiling. The timestamp now reads: 11:59P.M.)
GIRL (off-camera): Okay, one more minute...
(Timestamp changes to: 12:00A.M. Immediately upon doing so, low, faint, whispering voices begin speaking overhead, muffled by the ceiling. Barely audible, the voices speak rapidly in unison, apparently amongst themselves. No words are discernable, nor are the sexes or the number of the speakers.)
GIRL (off-camera, a whisper): There's more of them tonight.
(Several minutes pass. The low, hissing voices continue to murmur rapidly in apparent discussion as the girl continues to film her bedroom ceiling. Suddenly, there is another sound from above: the creak of a floorboard. Then another. Footsteps.)
GIRL (off-camera, startled): They're moving around. That hasn't happened before.
(The footsteps continue, slowly and steadily moving across the ceiling. The camera moves as the girl follows to track them.)
GIRL (off-camera, to herself): What are they doing?
(The footsteps move beyond her bedroom. Camera records the action as the girl creaks open her bedroom door and sneaks into the darkened upstairs hallway. The only illumination comes from the camcorder light. The camera is aimed at the hallway ceiling, moving down it as the girl follows the footsteps. The camera centers on an attic trapdoor in the ceiling and holds on it. The footsteps come to the trap door and abruptly stop. Several moments pass in silence. Then the trapdoor moves slightly, rattling, as if something is trying to open it from the other side.)
GIRL (off-camera, audibly alarmed): Oh God. They're trying to come down...
(The attic trap door starts to lower. The girl panics and shrieks.)
GIRL (off-camera, screaming): NO! MOM! DAD!
(The camera jerks around, shaking wildly as the girl races down the hallway.)
GIRL (off-camera): MOM! DAD!
(She arrives at a door and flings it open, entering a dark bedroom. She flips the light on. A couple in their late thirties, subsequently identified as the deceased homeowners, are asleep in bed. They jerk awake suddenly, looking up groggily in the camera's direction.)
WOMAN (bleary, confused): What's going on...?
MAN (rubs his eyes, notices the camera): What are you doing with my camcorder?
GIRL (off-camera, panicked): IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN! THEY'RE TRYING TO COME DOWN FROM THE ATTIC!
(The couple stare at her for a moment, uncomprehendingly, then exchange a look.)
MAN (frustrated, to the girl): Christ, Melissa, not this again!
GIRL (off-camera): They're trying to come down!
MAN (irritated): Melissa, don't you think you're a little too old to be scared of the boogeyman?
GIRL (off-camera, pleading): Daddy, I swear!...
MAN: It's after midnight! I have to be at work at nine!
(Suddenly, a boy's voice speaks behind the girl.)
BOY (off-camera, groggy): What's happening?
(The girl shrieks, startled, and whips the camera around, revealing a boy who appears to be roughly ten years of age, in pajamas, standing in the doorway. His hair is ruffled and he is rubbing his eyes. Subsequently, he has been identified as the son of the deceased homeowners.)
WOMAN (to the boy): It's alright, Cody, go back to bed. Your sister just had another bad dream.
GIRL (off-camera, nearly hysterical): NO! IT'S NOT A DREAM! THEY'RE REAL! THEY'RE IN THE ATTIC! I CAN HEAR THEM!
(The girl breaks down sobbing. Her parents stare at her, then exchange concerned looks.)
WOMAN (to the man): Jack, maybe you should go take a look. Just to make her feel better.
MAN (relenting, still irritated): Fine. I'll go up to the attic and take a look, but after that I don't want to hear anymore about this.
(The man gets out of bed, puts on his slippers and heads across the room, passing the camera, to the door.
GIRL (off-camera, alarmed): Daddy, wait...!
MAN: I'm going to show you once and for all there's nothing up there to be afraid of.
GIRL (off-camera, terrified): NO, DADDY! Don't go up there! They'll--
MAN (cuts her off, raising his voice, exasperated): ENOUGH! Just stay here with your mother till I come back. Or come with me if you want! You'll see it's just your imagination!
(He exits the bedroom, heading down the hallway and out of sight. Several minutes pass. Camera remains focused on the empty doorway. All we hear is the girl's frightened, uneven breathing and the Woman in the background speaking in a soft, inaudible voice to the boy.)
WOMAN (off-camera, speaking to no one in particular): What's taking him so long? It's been ten minutes.
GIRL (off-camera, voice quivering): They must have gotten him.
WOMAN (angrily): Melissa, stop talking like that! You're scaring your brother!
(Camera swings away from the door and focuses on the woman, still in bed, the young boy standing beside her. The woman is frowning at the camera, but the boy is staring past her, at the bedroom door, with a worried expression.)
GIRL (off-camera, to the woman): Then where is he, Mom???
WOMAN: He's probably...(pauses, hearing something) Listen!
(Footsteps can be heard steadily and slowly approaching the bedroom.)
WOMAN (clearly relieved) Here he comes right now. I told you there was nothing to worry about.
(The girl aims the camera back at the doorway. The footsteps get louder and closer, then stop abruptly just outside the bedroom. A moment passes. Nothing happens.
WOMAN (off-camera): Jack?
(The man's head slowly appears, peering in the doorway at an odd angle, the rest of him out of view. There is a strange smile on his face.)
MAN (in a perfectly normal voice): It's me.
WOMAN (off-camera): What took you so long? Did something happen?
(The man's head just continues to smile. He is staring in the woman's general direction, but not directly at her. He doesn't blink.)
GIRL (off-camera, uneasy): Dad?
WOMAN (off-camera, concerned): Jack? Are you alright? What's wrong with you?
MAN: I think he was quite surprised.
WOMAN (off-camera, confused): What are you talking about? Who was quite surprised?
(Blood begins to trickle out of the man's mouth. As he speaks, his voices changes, becoming unnaturally deep and raspy.)
MAN (distorted voice): Your husband.
(The man's head comes further into view, and it can be seen that his head has been severed raggedly at the neck. A bare, misshapen arm appears, shoved up through the head and manipulating the jaw in a manner similar to a ventriloquist dummy.
At this point, all three of them -- the woman, girl and boy -- begin to scream in horror and speak all at once, over each other.)
WOMAN (off-camera, screaming): OH, GOD! JACK!
BOY (off-camera, screaming): DAD!
GIRL (off-camera, screaming): NO!
(The camera shakes and trembles as the girl backs rapidly away from the doorway. A figure appears and enters the bedroom. Only glimpsed for a second on camera, the figure seems to be tall and skeletal, with unnaturally long, thin arms. It is nude, and its skin is blistered and disfigured. At this point all three begin to scream in terror. Pandemonium ensues. The girl abandons the camera, which drops to the floor, the image momentarily distorting. The camera continues to record at a low, static angle, filming the bare feet of the figure as it crosses the room, out of view, in the direction of the family. Several other pairs of bare feet enter the room behind it and head in the same direction.)
WOMAN (off-camera, screaming): RUN!
BOY (off-camera, terrified): MOMMY!
GIRL (off-camera, screaming): GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T TOUCH ME! MOM, HELP!
(Sounds of a violent struggle. This goes on for almost two minutes.
Abruptly, the footage cuts to black as if the camcorder had been turned off. Several minutes pass in blackness, then the footage resumes, now recording in the girl's bedroom. The timestamp at the bottom now reads: 3:00A.M OCT. 24, '91. The camcorder, now held by an unknown person, shows the girl, bloody and bruised, bound to her bed, her hands tied to the headboard above her, her feet tied to the bedposts at the foot of the bed. Her mouth has been gagged. Her face is streaked with tears, and she is whimpering, eyeing the camcorder fearfully. Muffled screams of pain and horror can be heard coming from somewhere else in the house. The camcorder zooms in to a close-up of her face.
UNNATURALLY DEEP VOICE (off-camera, the same voice that spoke before.) I've got some bad news, and some really bad news for you, Melissa. The bad news is Heaven isn't real. The really bad news is, hell is.
(The girl's eyes widen with terror at something she sees off-camera and she tries to scream through her gag.
Abruptly, the camcorder cuts off.)
The owners of the house sold it not long after discovering the tape. It currently still sits on the market, unoccupied.
submitted by CarlB1961 to nosleep [link] [comments]
2020.07.25 19:22 25Julenergetic Hidden camera mom and son sex
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2020.07.24 16:45 wolf24Jul Hidden camera mom and son sex
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2020.07.21 07:44 21Julchatter Young Gir-ls Fu-ck Old Gu-y Por-n
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